so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
