So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize