I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Is it penis luge time yet?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize