they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
