I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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