Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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