The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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