Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
