Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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