Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
false alarm, still single
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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