Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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