he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize