just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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