I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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