you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
