are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
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Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
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Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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