My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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