That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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