the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
