Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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