I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
