You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
