You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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