Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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