...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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