Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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