So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
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I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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