yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
