I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
