I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
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Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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