Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
