he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
