please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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