Slut skills are useful in every country.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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