So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
