foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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