I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
