glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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