I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
