...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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