Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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