I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
