I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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