She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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