oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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