I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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