Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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