There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
do herpes really smell.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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