This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
where are my eyebrows?
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