Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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