Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
