We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
