This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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