I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
