Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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