Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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