I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
