We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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