So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
