You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
