You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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