Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize