Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
