Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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