If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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