There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
